The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live

It just falshed in my mind!
I remembered that place, where it started, where i suffered alot chasing happiness.. or that what i thought so.
I spent there my last days with them, and with "what i was".
they were very beautiful, soft, full of love and filled me with passion.
I really depended of them to be my salvation, my missing relief, my reason.., but i think -and now i become sure- that it's not what Allah wanted, and they weren't what i thought.

But since that day, the last day, everything changed, every single thing changed! i even lost my memory! i forgot everything!

And now, it back to me sometimes as flashes when i see somthing, hear such voice, feel such way or smell something as happened now!

I accepted loosing them, but i just can't accept loosing me. it's really as Norman Cousins said once: "Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live".

....
.... i really miss life..